Bangkok, July 5, 2007
Asia is an illusion. The mysteries of Asia do not exist. These are just a set of rules invented by the tourism desk ASEAN (the European Union Asian) to create a halo of reverence around some old traditions that do not exist, and thus increase the visitors and their hard cash .
I discovered the other day in a Song Theaw (mini bus) in Laos.
The Lonely Planet you have read it. Although second-hand twenty Euri did you spent. Right?
What was Thailand, Laos, Burma or any Buddhist country even slightly, you will definitely informed of the various taboos, and among all, the immense feet.
The Buddhists have a problem with your feet.
If they could go about in a wheelchair but not to get these lousy feet.
There can not do anything with these foul ends.
We have a woman as a symbol of devilry, thanks to the profound teachings of the Church, they have feet.
We with women at least we make love, with their feet do not you do anything.
One of the taboos of 745 feet is as follows: never, and I say, ever, point them towards someone. And 'the Asian equivalent of the Buddhist-raised middle finger. A nice fuck with a capital T, a more explicit document on stamped paper.
If you sit your ass put them behind, hide for love that I feel like throwing up.
Turning to Laos also occasionally you find yourself in front of a poster for the comic to the barbarians of foreigners, which tells you the "Do and Don'ts in Laos", ie things to do and things to do, beast of Western you are.
The largest sticker covers the feet. There is this stranger, blond and arrogant, who puts his feet up on a chair and pointing them to the Laotians fleeing in horror and cry affront.
The speech bubble says "Never, never point your feet towards someone, the feet are the lower body and the gesture is highly offensive."
Ok, thanks, I hear him say is that years, and now even my feet have become uncomfortable that I carry an object reluctantly below. I also have hairy legs, which does not help.
I often look like a monkey and I know I feel inadequate, belonging to an inferior race that has not yet completed and the evolution of primate hair relic of the past.
A Danish newspaper recently published the cartoons of a Buddha with big feet and all the Danes were killed in Burma.
These Danes are just fucked up.
All this prologue to make people understand that the problem here is not the GDP or inflation.
I am going around quest'Asia also mysterious with the pride of the veteran, a quasi Terzani, convinced that he has assimilated some Astatic, ie have internalized at least a small part of this mystery. Therefore partly to share this view of life from which you Europeans and tourists a few weeks you are hopelessly excluded. And I enjoy.
I climb into a cosiì Song Theaw in Laos, only westerner in the middle, and I'm going to Champusak with Lek, Lek and starts talking with a lady and another listen and I feel at one with Asia, this continent that's always a glass between you and him, and I feel for a moment to be on the other side of the glass and look out and breathe the air of Laos and tell myself that I finally started to understand it, quest'Asia, and to be accepted.
Then I turn inward and everything falls. All.
This fucking old lady, no doubt Laotian so without apology, has supported the foot on the bag of rice in front of me and them to me is pointing at him.
I am amazed. He has not read the Lonely Planet. Maybe he hates me? Maybe I did something wrong? Trembling I turn to Lek and I see the outrage.
She looks at the old lady, do not bat an eyelid and said:
- "Ok, do not worry, it's old and can".
The exception to the rule. And 'around since 2000 and did not know. The old men, with their joints out of warranty, they can put their feet as they wish.
I'm frustrated. Once again I thought I knew and did not know. I feel the glass, cold, inexorable rise between me and all of them, and are again alone, without friends or comfort.
I look at the foot of the old. Of land are dirty and seem to laugh at me. I take the mp3, I close my eyes and I start singing Manu Chao "and hambre comes and goes though the shadows, since maximum Razon."
That's nice, but clear, simple.














